What Are Your Core Values and Why Do They Matter?

Your core values guide how you live. They’re like rules you make for yourself about what’s right and wrong. Here’s why they matter…

Originally published 21 April 2021. Updated 28 July 2024

Core values are the beliefs and ideas that guide how we live. They’re like rules we make for ourselves about what’s right and wrong. Knowing your core values can make life easier and help you make better choices.

When you work out what your core values are and make a decision to live by them, it makes life a lot easier.

What Are Core Values?

Core values are the things that matter most to you. They shape how you act and what you think is important. For example, some people may value honesty & integrity highly, while others might value success or family.

Examples of Core Values

There are hundreds of values, but here are a few examples:

Honesty
Integrity
Love
Success
Diligence
Freedom
Family

Where Do Core Values Come From?

We develop our values from:

The personality you are born with
Your parents and family
Your experiences growing up
Your friends and peers
What you learn in school

By the time you’re an adult, your values are a big part of who you are. They are deep beliefs you have about yourself and the world around you.

They can change a little over time, especially when big things happen in your life, like having a baby or moving to a new country.

Why Knowing Your Values Matters

When you know your values, you can:

Make better choices
Feel more confident
Understand yourself better
Get along with others who share your values

If you do something that goes against your values, things don’t feel right. You might feel bad or upset.

For example, if you value honesty but lie to a friend, you’ll probably feel guilty and sad.

If success is important to you, but you don’t have a plan to reach your goals, you may feel frustrated and angry.

If you don’t understand why you’re feeling that way, you’ll bury those feelings. That’s not good because over time those buried feelings build up pressure and lead to bad outcomes.

How to Find Your Core Values

If you’re not sure what your values are, try these steps:

Think about times when you felt really good about a choice you made. Why did you feel that way?
Who do you look up to? What do you like about them?
Imagine the best version of yourself. What would that person be like?

You can also Google ‘core values list‘ and pick the ones that feel right to you.

Try to narrow your list of values down to 5 or 6. That’s your core. This makes it easier to remember them when you need to make choices or take action on something.

For example, you can quickly think of your values when deciding how to respond to a friend’s behaviour or words, or when thinking about making plans for your future direction.

Remember that your values can change over time. It’s okay to adjust your list of core values as you grow and learn. These are your personal values, so you’re the one who decides what matters most to you.

Living by Your Values

To be happy, try to make choices that match your values. This isn’t always easy. Sometimes, two of your values might not agree with each other.

For example, if you value both family and wealth, you might have to choose between working late and spending time with your kids.

When setting goals, it’s important to look at your core values first. Sometimes, what you want might not match your values.

When I work with clients on goals and plans, we always refer back to their core values. If there are any conflicts between what they want to do and their core values, we deal with it before moving on.

For example, you might want to be a marketing manager, and one of your values is integrity. Knowing this, you decide not to apply for that marketing manager job at a multinational tobacco company.

Or you might believe in social freedom and think that all drugs should be legal. Knowing that, you probably wouldn’t be happy working in the Police.

The Freedom To Be Yourself

Living by your core values gives you the freedom to be yourself.

When you live by your values, you’ll feel more like yourself. You won’t have to pretend to be someone you’re not. This makes you happier and more comfortable in your own skin, which means you also feel more confident.

Remember, your values might change a little over time, and that’s okay. The important thing is to know what matters most to you and to make choices based on who you truly are.